NotesI'm not affraid of death.It's something that always happens and it comes to everyone. But I'm affraid of life.Not life in general - I'm afraid of the time that runs so fast, of the day that I'll see my face in the mirror and I'll no longer be a teenager.Of the days that will have passed and will be all the same, under the same grey sky, under the same grey thoughts. of the day that death will come to a loved one and I will not have siad things I should have said by then. Of the people, who ask way too much or who I've hurt by mistake. Those who I'll never be enough for, Those who make me cry and those who love me but I give back their love in the worst way possible. I'm afraid of boredom. It might scare me more than anything. Deadlock means thinking, thinking means remembering and opening old wounds. It means questioning myself and my existence, it means that I don't mean a thing to anybody. I'm afraid of anything I can't control. Because, secretely, I know that what I don't control, c
write before you sleepA half look, a half heart, half a person. Borrowed clothes. Stranger. Dreams. Walking in the empty streets.Now, the playgrounds are empty. Good children go back home early. Then they scream, with the sound of silence.Everybody knows that one day they'll be seen parading in a sanitarium, with their shadow being their only companion. Why? They tried to defend themselves against the lunacy of their world-and lost. They pay the price of it with their soul.They starve, they cry, They cut, they kill themselves.I remember when you said "I will never compromise with anything".You didn't keep your word.
Fear-Fear is undefeatable. It's the greatest weapon someone can use against an enemy. Because, not only does it frighten, it causes panic, disorganisation, desperation, violence, anger, and, most important, isolation&dissension.Fear wil invade through your closed window in a dark evening. He's always attracted by closed windows. They show vulnerability,need for safety. He will make everything look different: Familiar faces will be now masks, evil creatures who want to confound you. The world will seem like a cruel place, a really cruel place. You will think everything twice, the way you walk, the way you speak, or the way you don't speak. The less you say the better. You'll start having more and more and more and more secrets and you will spend your free time into thinking ways to protect them. You will live for him, you will be his slave. You'll live a half-life trying not-to-be-affraid, trying to-be-safe. But, what you don't know is that your desire to be safe is the result of your fear